Acceptance is Bliss!

Watching the sunset at Juhu beach is such a pretty sight. But today was different for him. He was finding difficult to find happiness is anything.

All alone in the crowd, he was wondering how things went wrong. Never in the last 10 years of his life had he finished outside the top 3 in his school. Now he had to see 60% marks, that too due to very bad fever during exam time.

All around him today, he could just see happy faces; faces of all his friends who scored 80’s and 90’s discussing about the best colleges in the city. He could see his friends trying to sympathize with him but they couldn’t avoid the hint of pride they possessed due to scoring more marks than their regular topper.

He had lots of questions. Why did God punish me for no fault of mine? Don’t I deserve to be in a good college after all this effort? If at all I had to fall sick, why the boards, why not some stupid unit test?

There’s one thing about defeat and most of the people in the world. After a failure, firstly people try to find who’s to blame. If no answer, they check whether they themselves are to blamed, if both answers are no, they find defeat very difficult to digest. I feel it that way and dunno how many of you agree about it.

One more thing about defeat, you just need a moment to get over it, a moment of ‘acceptance’. He had found it! He accepted reality and things appeared to be different suddenly.

He now smiled at the 60% marks, they were his own after all. He now knew that he would be happier with securing admission is a low profile college rather than the frustrated students who get their name printed in the newspaper saying 90% and still no admission. He felt that somewhere God must have a faith in him that he’ll be at his best and have a bright future despite going to a mediocre college. He was also thankful to face defeat so early in his life. This will make him a stronger person to cope up with problems that may surface in the future. People so often face defeat at the most important stage of their career that they can’t cope up with it, commit suicide and do other such stupid things. He was happy that he came out of depression so early. Such a powerful thing acceptance of reality is!

He now knows that happiness doesn’t come in a box wrapped with gelatin paper saying congrats! Happiness is much more than that. He knows now, who his true friends are and the other ones who are there for their selfish needs. Victory would have been sweeter, but for a change he was savoring defeat.

He now knows there are times in life when you have to pay a price even if you haven’t done a mistake. Everything isn’t fair always. After the storm, you have to start collecting the shattered pieces and start living. Crying over the lost things is just a waste of time.

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections!!!!

Title credit goes to Yugandhar, I couldn't find any other well suited.

True Lies

In friendship, sometimes there are times when you are confused whether to speak out the bitter truth or to conceal it. Things are worse when it comes to your best friend. You know he or she is going wrong yet telling the truth might make things worse. Like the times when your friend asks you how’s the dress he’s wearing. The dress combi might be bizarre, but saying that directly might not seem proper. Ok the dress thing is a small issue, but when it comes to important issues, the problem becomes more complicated.

If you do not point out your friend’s mistakes and someday he himself realizes them, he’ll feel really bad about you. Why didn’t you confess the truth earlier? What kinda friend are you? On the other hand, if you are frank enough to tell the mistake, the other person might not take it the right way. People sometimes find it difficult to believe that they are wrong. Being too straightforward might actually come in the way of a beautiful friendship. Also, we have to be very careful in the way we confess out the truth so that it doesn’t appear to be hurting.

You need both types of friends. Some to praise you during your difficult times (You know your life’s a mess, still there’s someone thinking you are better off) and some people to scold you for your smallest mistakes. I’m glad I have both variants of friends. It’s difficult to say which ones are more right.

But there’s one thing. Being frank at truthful at such times requires guts. It requires accepting the risk of being misunderstood. It requires saying the harsh reality knowing that it might jeopardize your friendship. It requires overcoming the temptation of avoiding the topic instead of telling the truth.

I think I’d be glad if my friends be truthful to me, even if the truth is harsh. False praise and admiration will make me happy for the moment, but will do more harm than good in the long run.

Despite this view, sometimes I choose not to spill out the harsh truth. It’s the fear of losing good friends that keeps me holding….

In pursuit of tomorrow

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with this day, a day called ‘Tomorrow’.

On one side, it gives us Hope. Hope that what is pending today, might be completed tomorrow. It gives us a brand new day to work upon. A day to start a new task, follow a new regime, pursue a new dream. In case of a hectic day, tomorrow will be the day when we’ll dance our troubles away.

On the other side, the day sometimes is an ‘illusion’. I have to start studying tomorrow, so many mornings came and went, this ‘tomorrow‘ never really arrived. It allows us to procrastinate. It allows us to be lazy today. It’s a nice way of avoiding things, even if temporary.

We all travel through both sides of the road I guess. It’s difficult to say which side is right and which is wrong. Rather, there’s no right or wrong.

But, in this journey, you should not forget about the auspicious day called ‘Today’. I see many people around working hard just for their tomorrows, right from their childhood till retirement. They never really enjoy their present. Yes, dreams and ambitions should be big, you should sacrifice some joy today for a better future, but don’t do this all your life. Don’t live your life with the tension of ‘things to do’ list. You might move from one success to another, without really savoring it.

Enjoying your today so much that you leave all most of your work for tomorrow is also not the right thing. By this, although you are living today to the fullest, you are making tomorrow a horrible day. Plus, someone else might fill in your shoes, and you won’t be required for tomorrow. The opportunity that knocked today might not wait till tomorrow.

Balance is the key I guess. Working for a better tomorrow is essential, but freaking out about the troubles that you may face tomorrow isn’t a wise thing. Relishing today is important and so is cherishing tomorrow.

Engineering reloaded

Few days back, a friend of mine studying in class 12th asked me if I could come along with her to a seminar cum counseling session called as ‘An insight into engineering’ given by a famous coaching class that trains for both, the CET as well as engineering subjects. I know that such seminars are all about publicity, another of those time wasting exercises, but I had nothing better to do, so I agreed to attend it with her.

Some guy in his thirties in a loud and clear voice started explaining ‘what is engineering about?’; Something which I couldn’t figure out after three years of engineering. Then he spoke of how important is the first year and if you don’t figure out how to get around things in the first year, how the rest of the years will be difficult for you. 'First year is the foundation for everything, here’s where you get the basics right' he added.

Basics what, being friends with the person who writes assignments, being a regular at the Xerox place, finding someone to make your ED drawings and all, I wondered. Then he started talking about individual branches of engg and here’s when I started dozing off. After almost an hour gone, I looked around to see students still paying attention with the same enthusiasm. How fast your attention span can reduce after getting admit to an Engg college is what I was thinking about!

After the seminar, there was the counseling session. Seriously bored by then, I decided to have some fun. Students in group of 3 were counseled by the volunteers of the coaching class. I pretended to be a class 12 student along with my friend. At first, I preferred listening to the questions my friend was asking such as 'Is engineering difficult?' 'Which colleges are the best for engg?' and more such questions. He mentioned my college name as one of the best ones. I felt happy for a moment. He also said, "First year is the most difficult, but don't worry, if you join our classes, you will have done the syllabus a month before the exam leaving ample time for revision".Then he asked me whether I have any questions.

I was kinda waiting for this. I asked him what distinguishes a good engg college from an average engg college. He answered ‘ Good engg colleges have good professors who give wonderful insight into the subject and they have good research facilities, good labs and other infrastructure.’ Those exact words he said. A picture of my profs flashed for a minute in my mind. Period.

Next question I shot was, ‘How good is the interface of an engg college with the industry?’
He answered, “Every year, most colleges arrange Industrial visits (IV s) to get student interaction with the industry; they are quite good for budding engineers”. I can’t remember how I controlled my laughter then. Man, people can lie!

Then I bombarded another question, ‘If I enter Electronics and Telecommunication Engineering, which companies will offer me in college placements?’
He answered, “There are the telecom companies like Vodafone, Airtel, Idea and also internet providers like Hathway, MTNL etc. who come for placements. You can also get into good core electronic companies such as Siemens, Falcon, Samsung, Sony etc. through good colleges like a, b, c, d.” one of those colleges was mine. He also said that some people also end up with software or financial jobs. Unless the word ‘some’ meant ‘almost everyone’, it didn’t reflect the truth. When I asked him about the course of Electronics and Telecom Engineering, the answer he gave me could very well have been termed as something even no professor of this subject in any college, has done in his lifetime.

A few more questions and I was wondering which of his answers was the most hilarious one. He was like an in-form batsmen hitting sixers all over the ground. For a while it made me wonder whether I was studying the same thing this guy is talking about. If I were to do it all over again, would I do things differently? Nah, I love my life and love the journey that has been so far. I would change nothing about it, not even a single thing!

A 'Drama' tic post

I adore going to the drama theatre. It is a more pleasing experience for me than seeing a movie. A bit weird it might seem, but very true. I’ve seen a plethora of live dramas, and can still watch many more at the price higher than a movie ticket.

It gives me a very different feeling to that of a movie. It’s like someone is giving in his 100% performance, not once, not twice, but every time he performs. No matter what his mood that day is, or whatever the problems in his daily life are, he has to the same for every show. Going behind the set in a flash, changing costume and coming back as a different character altogether in less than half a minute. Making mistakes would ruin the reputation of the show and thus his future earnings too.

Plus, the attitude in India towards drama isn’t very positive, both as a career option and as a viewer base. The salaries earned by the actors are much less than what TV actors get without possessing half the talent. Fewer people are present to view the drama and lot of this amount goes into the hall rent, building up the sets and the people working behind the scenes that actors have to bear with an amount which is much smaller than they deserve. The cost of a drama show is almost equivalent to a movie ticket in India. So sad, but true. Despite that, most viewers are people long beyond their youth.

Cost of watching a drama in England is around 35 to 50 pounds. This is more expensive than watching a live premier league game; certainly more expensive than watching a movie. Still people of all ages turn up there to see a drama there, with the same enthusiasm of seeing a movie. TV serial actors over there aspire to be associated with a good drama someday. Here in India, such a step would be considered as a step backwards. We care so much about publicity, don’t we? Whose gonna watch a drama, millions would rather be watching me on a TV show or for that matter even a commercial.

Neways, coming back to my love for drama; I’ve seen my cousin directing a play in her college. It was amazing to see how much of hardwork they went through before the final product. It was a play based on communal riots which won the ‘Purshottam Award’ for the best college drama that year. It’s considered to be the most auspicious college level drama award in Maharashtra. The energy and enthusiasm you see in it, makes you wanna do only one thing, stand up and applaud.
Apart from these, it was also great to see many college dramas at Malhar a few years back. Some of the plays in our college Quadrangle on weekends are also good. I also remember watching a pantomime contest in Pune a while ago. Even without speech, they conveyed such beautiful messages and such nicely did they depict emotions that brought tears in my eyes. Just like the Charlie Chaplin movies. Last year, on one of the college days, we had prepared a 10 minutes skit by the four batches of our class. It proved to be such a fun task and everyone was so happy at the end of the day. We’ll never forget that day.

Lastly, language is not that important, as long as the emotions and actions are conveyed to the viewer. I’ve watched a lot of Marathi plays, a few Gujarati plays, English plays and one Korean play too; and have been able to decipher most of those. According to me, what the play conveys is more important that what language is used. One Gujarati play on Shri Krishna had such a mellifluous sound of flute playing in the songs that completely mesmerized me without understanding a word.

We say many a times to our friends, “Chalo, let’s go to a movie”. Hoping that someday we would say “Let’s go for a drama” too…

A bit too much

Listening to a lecture once in a while is ok,
sitting on the last bench and asking doubts is a bit too much.

Showing concern is ok sometimes;
dictating terms is a bit too much.

Working on your project is ok,
but lying that you haven’t even started is a bit too much.

Cribbing on your blog is ok sometimes,
but using the thesaurus for every third word is a bit too much.

Losing is ok sometimes;
not accepting defeat is a bit too much.

Taking advice from the ones who can help is ok,
but forgetting them as soon as the job is done is a bit too much.

Cursing someone is ok,
but cursing him behind his back is a bit too much.

Calling your friends on their birthday is ok,
but forgetting to wish them happy birthday is a bit too much.

Sharing secrets with someone is ok,
but disclosing someone’s secrets to another is a bit too much.

Four minutes of added time is ok,
but Oven scoring in the sixth minute is a bit too much.

Turning up at a stupid movie once in a while is unavoidable,
but recommending the same movie to your friends is a bit too much.

Lying once in a while is ok,
but lying to your best friend is a bit too much.

Making a mistake is ok;
making that mistake again is a bit too much.

Helping someone out of courtesy is ok,
but expecting something back in return is a bit too much.

Writing a boring blog is ok sometimes;
asking people to read it and comment is a bit too much.

Praying to god for a good result is ok,
but not studying for it is a bit too much.

Wasting time sometimes is ok;
but complaining about lack of time after that is a bit too much.

I guess writing anything above this would be a bit too much.

Are numbers really important?

What is more important, the final results or the process? This question has popped up in my mind several times and I’ve had a different answer every time. Sometimes there’s this feeling that numbers are all important, no matter how you get them. Adapt to the system, follow the norms, get the results, job done.

Then there are other times where the numbers really don’t matter. At those times you really don’t give a damn for the marks and just concentrate on learning. You just enjoy the process so much that results are secondary.

I’ve been on both sides of the road. Can’t say which one is right or wrong; at various times in life, you have to choose one of them timely. If you say marks don’t really matter, all that I care for is knowing stuff, and then you may have to risk missing on a good college, a good friend circle and lot many things. The world will never believe you that you are intelligent; you’ll have to come up with the numbers to show them that. Plus what’s the harm if you know some tricks to get marks without actually knowing the stuff

On the other hand, sometimes I feel like running away from the rigid doctrines of exams. Solve this problem exactly this way, it will fetch you full marks. Don’t use your creativity. This is the crap I can’t handle sometimes. I don’t care that I get a mediocre score. Working on a real microcontroller excites me than calculating stupid memory map tables. In the long term, I feel some scores will just be another set of numbers. There’s no point pressing hard for such marks when they are of little use.

The recent GRE test was a wonderful experience for me. At first I was really vexed by the process. Hardly did I remember the words that I studied the previous day. I hated it, I almost quit the conquest! But with some inspiration and convincing from friends, started it all over again. This time it was different. I was actually enjoying the process of learning. I enjoyed that I was reading the daily newspaper in different manner now. Actually caring to understand the meanings of the words that I once ignored.

No longer did I feel the urge to curse the words, not even the yellow cards which carried them. I kinda liked them. I told to myself, whatever happens in the actual exam, I’ve actually gained a lot from this process. Even if I falter, not everything will be lost. That’s when the tension disappeared. I got a decent score but I think even if I had scored any higher or lower, I wouldn’t really have been more joyous or unhappy. For this time I surely knew, numbers were not all that mattered…..